Patterns

According to my parents, my bipolar pattern is that I do well for a few weeks - I'll stay home more and sleep at night in my own bed, I'll take my meds on time, I'll interact with my family and show an interest in them and life, I'll seem to be progressing and being responsible & loving .... and then the change begins.

They say I begin to take on the attributes of a homeless person, in that I couch hop and go from person to person. I insist everyone I know is my life long friend, even though my parents rightly point out that that isn't so.  I declare I hate being in the house and I'm sick of it and everything and I have to go out. I think that everyone is fighting or yelling at me even though we are just having a normal, quiet conversation. (My Mom repeatedly tells me that just because they might be saying something I don't want to hear, it doesn't mean they are yelling or fighting.) Taking my meds on time no longer is my concern. I begin to accuse everyone of sucking, I get irritated quickly. I spend all of my money.  And then some time after this behavior begins, manic episodes ensue.

I am in this pattern now. I had a manic episode last night. My Mom trys to warn me, trys to help prevent it from getting to that point, she trys to tell me it's my bodies way of letting me know I'm not taking care of it and not paying attention to it, and it's trying to get my attention.  But I just call her a bitch and tell her she doesn't do anything for me and then I leave the house.